I’m the soul in line waiting for something to come up. I’m the body that enacts a piece in the theater of life. I’m the person sitting on a couch staring at the void in front of me. I’m the knot in my stomach when I see poverty and lost of dignity. I’m the excitement in my gut when I think something will change. I’m the people I go out with, the food I covet, the peaceful sensation when I hear a wave splashing on the sand.
I’m the wave. The water that changes being always the same. I’m the fish under the surface that dream of the stars. I’m that same fish once in the net that realizes that freedom was not to take a deep breath of air, for that air was not meant for me. I’m the air; the bird that flies in it, the rooster that cannot fly. I’m the wing of the parrot that must be cut. I’m the nail.
I’m the claw. I’m the semi-retractable claw of the cougar. I’m the cougar. I’m the land on which the cougar runs. I’m the land and its ground. I’m the forest on which ground the parasites are growing. I’m the parasite. The forest cries and the animals lose their dear ones. I’m not the dear one, I’m not the animal. I’m the reason why the species disappears. I’d like to the heart of the earth, the beating breath of nature, the change between day and night, the sun to my solar system. I have been deluded. I thought I could be me and everything else. And being everything else and then maybe a bit me. But now I know I’m none of those things.
I’m not the earth, nor the animal that lives on it. Not the air, or the wind or a bird. I’m neither the water nor its living soul. I’m nothing but the pawn to a chess game I’m not even playing. I can’t decide, I can’t save myself or others, for I have no choice but to be whatever time and space wants me to be.
I left everything I believed in and now have no choice but to wonder around seeking for answers. I just hope that one day I will finally become the soul in the upfront of the line, given something that had to come up.